Against all odds, it has finally happened for me.
I am officially a SCAD student come September.
I did it.
This has been something I have dreamed of for years but never thought would actually materialize.
At every corner in this process, I had to fight to get through it (for a myriad of reasons). I faced a lot of inner demons and adversity to get here.
I leave for Savannah on Tuesday to look at apartments and rental houses. The timeframe to move has been pushed to the absolute limit and it's going to be a crazy couple of months for me but I welcome them happily.
The portfolio appeal is finished and sent... (if you saw the Youtube version, I am aware of the misspelled word on the final slide. It was corrected prior to being mailed.)
Now I wait, hope, and pray for a chance to do this...
It's strange how life works, sometimes. At least, my life - hence the development of the "strange circus" concept.
Having someone at my side supporting me has made a huge difference. It has given me a lot of strength to perservere through adversity and hardship. It's also really nice to feel like it's not me against the entire world, anymore. For once, I am accepted fully for who I am and not rejected for who I am not. (No strings attached...)
In other news, in light of recent tides turned, I have NEVER been so excited to go presentation folder shopping in my life. This is, of course, regarding the scholarship appeal I am putting together for SCAD.
And to think, I thought my nerves finally had a chance to recover from the initial portfolio adventure. HA!
In a last ditch effort to secure funding for SCAD, I have recently discovered that my portfolio was denied a fair chance at a merit scholarship because of incorrect information given to me during my only portfolio review last October.
With the discovery of some honest critique and tips for polishing up the portfolio, I have been encouraged (by the Portfolio Review Manager directly) to appeal the denial.
Also, as of May 1st, I will be applying myself in an entirely new direction.
I call it "Building the Ark".
The concept is based around the idea changing the world does not have to begin with some huge monumental effort. Changing the world can be done as simply as "one Act of Random Kindness at a time".
I will try to set the example and you can follow my "ARK transformation" through this blog.
I am slowly recovering from a nasty bout of shingles. Of course, this is compliments of fibro and it's lovely effects on me.
I am both exhausted and sore but still prepping to move. It's been slow packing with the onset of this shingles episode but I am managing.
Art has been slow for that reason. I did finish a song/poem combo recently. It can be found on the site's main page.
All the best.
Actually, while my intial planning fell through, I know that everything is going to be okay.
I am going to be just fine - and this time - it's going to be my own way.
From here on out, I dictate my own terms.
I have too much to give to sit idly by and wait for the world to come around.
Keep your eyes on the site over the next few weeks. I've got some interesting news breaking on the horizon.
Looks as if SCAD won't be happening anymore.
Accepted without scholarships which is a death sentence for me coming from a family in poverty.
In two years time, I have lost nearly everything.
I guess they were right all along.
I have given up thinking that good things happen to good people.
I have started a new book of themed poetry titled A Place Worth Coming Home To and like Dancing in Darkness will be a poetic treatise on some of the darker places of my life that have unfolded.
(Namely, how the meaning in the title became a desperate search for my heart that wanted forever to mean something.
It was another bittersweet holiday.
I am not sure which outweighed the other - perhaps it struck a strange balance this time around. Probably not.
C'est la vie...
The process for college has been rolling relatively smoothly. I had to reschedule the admission interview due to unforseen circumstances but, sadly, that is Life.Insofar as the new year is concerned, I always hated these periods of reflection but they are needed if we are to grow and change and strengthen ourselves as sensate beings.
Other news? I will be 27 years old in two days. I feel sick.
I have finally finished and published Dancing in Darkness.
This was a really hard book to finish on so many levels. And I am happy that I have released myself from it.
It's probably the rawest display of my writing thus far...
It's genesis was pulled and culled directly from my shadowed places. I bled for this compilation to come together. Metaphorically and literally.
For any who care - it can be purchased here.
My goal is to be where I will be going to school by the summer. This will give me a chance to find a place to live and a part-time job before school starts in the fall.
I just realized that I am really nervous about school. I will be the first person in my family to pursue "higher education" and an ivy league education (well, as far as art schools are concerned, it is) at that. All I can say is this: pray for me to get grants and scholarships. Pray HARD! *laughs*
A Dance in Darkness & Benediction are coming along slowly. A lot of my current projects have been put on hold as most of the school stuff has to be front and center. (Everything is due on Feb. 15th!)
A Dance in Darkness is DONE. I got the proof copy but they messed a few things up in printing so I have to correct a few of those before it'll be released.
Any other work I'll be doing is going to have to be something I can sell - something I can use as a supplemental income to start my savings for the move.
There is so much that still needs to be done....
Today, I will be doing some art based around where I am emotionally in my life.
Earlier, I sat on the curb in some part of this city - the frigid rain soaking through my clothes and yet, the cold didn't make me tremble or shiver.
I welcomed how it settled in deeper. I sipped my cup of tea and watch the world unfold on itself. Thirty-eight degrees.
I watched the steam form in my exhale...
... pensive days like these, find stranger chords.
For more personal updates - feel free to find me here.
There has been a TON happening for me in the last five months.
The biggest highlights have been my applying for art school (and the subsequent acceptance).
That's right, I have accepted to art school!
This is NOT some frou-frou wannabe art school either - we're talking about one of the best of the best (and now, I'm not spilling where just quite yet.
Because of the amazingly high price of tuition (42k a year if you include housing), I am pushing myself VERY VERY hard for scholarships and financial aid.
If I play my cards right and really dedicate myself to this, I've got a large chance that I can get enough funding to have tuition completely paid for.
Going to college has been one of my biggest dreams and this might be the last chance I've got to do things right.
Wish me luck!
After much delay and a LOT of impatience on my part, the new laptop has arrived!
It'll be a good solid day of reinstalling the software and transferring information from the old computer to the new but... I'm stoked and am very ready to finish the zine and get my other projects rolling again!
Long time no update, I know!
I just got off the phone with one of my coolest friends ever - hadn't heard from him in months! He seemed to be doing pretty good and hopefully, we can get some kick ass collaborations started! (The "doll" concept is brilliant - run with that Nick!)
Hopefully, I'll be able to get up there to spend some time with him and get some real catch-up going on.
The laptop is officially on the "under a week countdown" which has me STOKED. It's about time because I am really tired of putting the zine on hold any longer. I'm really getting impatient here. :)
The zine has hit a few snags and it's really getting under my skin.
This project is something that is very important to me - something I feel that people should have and enjoy.
It's hard to work on large sized Photoshop files when your computer freezes every five minutes.
Every single time I get a page layout the way I would like it, *boom* computer freezes again. I try to save the work as much and possible but sometimes, I get so into actually developing it that saving the file just slips my mind.
I worked on a single page and had it READY TO GO to be added six times. How frustrating is that?!
The title of my latest poetry book has finally dawned on me. I was surfing the net randomly, looking at various pieces of art and the title of a certain (and very famous) piece jumped out at me: The Persistence of Memory by Salvador Dali.
You ALL know the piece - the one with the melting clocks...
It occurred to me that it was a perfect title for the book considering my poetry/prose is based solely on that exact concept.
Thanks Dali. *laughs*
I am really happy with how well the Myspace profile is picking up. As much as I am *not* a fan of Myspace, it really is a great way to network. Catch-22, I suppose.
To all the new friends who have stumbled on my little digital slice of the world, welcome.
The big topic I have been addressing these last couple of days is finding a centralized storefront to sell ALL the items created through Strange Circus.
One might think this would be easy. Guess again.
With Paypal, they require a credit check (even though I've been with them for seven years) and that just isn't going to fly with me. Most of the other sites (paypal included) charge an arm and a leg in seller fees and well, I'm just not a wealthy store-owner who can brush that aside.
I think I might have found a place that will work for what I need (for now) and does not charge crazy fees. I'm still in the "beta" testing stage of my shopping around though.
More info as it becomes available, as always.
It's official - Strange Circus has spawned itself on Myspace
Follow this link to be directed to the Myspace page. Feel free to message me, friend me, or otherwise harass me there too. :)
On the Myspace profile, I have started an "Image of the Day", a "Writing Prompt of the Day", and a "Visual Artistry Prompt of the Day" as creative boosters. These fun little items should help some people get their muses out of bed. *laughs* Besides, it's a great way to display art from the realm of starving artists (and yes, I AM one of them).
The Strange Circus zine is coming along nicely. I'm actually quite happy with how it is turning out.
Again, if you'd like to submit some artwork for the issue, reach me through the Contact page.
The title page for the zine is done. I just need to get some submissions in.
I want this zine to be a way for artists to get their work out in circulation - it makes no difference if its a poem, prose, sketches, lyrics, a photograph, etc... Any medium that can be converted on to paper is welcome!
If interested, contact me here.
In other news - life is been...interesting, to say the least.
I got fired from my job on Tuesday for no valid reason. In this country where they can "hire and fire" at will, they didn't need any. All they told me was that I "no longer fit the position".
No warning, no heads-up, no chance at correcting anything that might have been going wrong...
Apparently, I was not wanted there anymore. It's just sad that everyone else got away with practically murder and I really busted my ass at that place.
In the last eight months, my entire life has been turned upside-down.
In a fit of despair, to try and keep my head unburdened, I went to Home Depot and purchased some items for a new mixed media piece.
Check the Current Projects page for updates.
The Art Gallery is starting to come together.
Today, I have been dilligently working on uploading some samples of my photography, mixed media, and personal collage work.
More updates to follow, I'm sure.
I've started getting the images together for the art gallery. I need to find a good image hoster for the images.. Photobucket is okay - not sure if it's what I am looking for though.
Suggestions? All-in-all, I am very happy with how things are turning out. I'm STILL a starving artist but at least I am a starving artist with a really cool website. *laughs*
C'est la vie...
The formatting for the website is finally fixed. I was having a great deal of trouble getting my images to fit properly within the correct frames. Technology can be a real pain sometimes.
I also came up with a new idea for a sculpture, of sorts. It'll be an interesting representation of my own mind. That should be a fascinating piece to make...
I plan on getting the gallery started within the next week or so, stay tuned for more updates as they happen.